Hot and Angry

It is freezing in LA but I am sitting on my couch sweating. Thank you mr.Elliptical machine. 30 minutes on the highest difficulty...I sometimes wonder if I should up it to 45 minutes or if that will kill me. Maybe I should try it and see if I can last ?

Recently at work we had a conversation of the lack of strong female action stars in films today. I look at the options teenage girls have in films today - Bella Swan (from Twilight) being an epic example of the worst role model in the history of time - not the strongest people to look up to. When I grew up we had the occasional strong woman (and as we figured out at work they all seem to be the brain children of James Cameron)  but there definitely aren't enough of them.

Why is that? Why is it that there can't be strong female lead characters? What is pop culture afraid of? I would love to see some really cool leads who can stand on their own, can still be emotional and vulnerable but it doesn't weaken them (unlike Carrie-Anne Moss in Matrix who fell apart once she fell in love with Neo - LAME!)

On that note - I was reading how the Real Housewives from New York's Jill Zarin has announced her line of "body shapers" called Sqweez (sp?) aimed at young girls and older women. YOUNG GIRLS?? Why do they need body shapers and how is no one else offended by that? Girls today already have enough issues with body image thanks to our cultures obsession with the "ideal body type" and now we are going to add this to the plate? Tell them they need to wear underwear that lift's their a** and sucks in their gut? I'm totally sickened

Sometime I just can't get over how irresponsible we as a society are. That people don't think about the impact what we do has on other generations.

I feel like I need to find a way to make a positive impact on people...or someone does ....just to balance all the negative coming at kids today.

I'm writing this from my iPhone so it will likely be short and sweet. I managed to get up nice and early to hit the elliptical. In theory I am patting myself on the back but in practice I am sitting on the couch contemplating putting my head down for just 5 minutes. One of the reasons I like to get up so early to "work-out" is so I can have a little quiet time - watch something that wouldn't run on Nickelodeon. It is lovely. I do have pangs of guilt. I should clean up the living room...empty the dishwasher...start getting lunch ready..but I don't. After that 30 minutes of elliptical, it is all I can do to make my way to the couch. But that few minutes of relaxing is heaven!

Crap. 653am. Time to get moving.

Welcome back to work everyone!

Addiction?

OK...here's the truth. I've never said this out loud but I think it is time for a deep dark confession.

*deep breath*

My name is Tali and I am addicted to games. Not the Call of Dutys or the Halos - it is far worse. I am addicted to any and every game Zynga, Ngmoco, even Playfirst put out. I am a total sucker for anything that involves building things up, adding neighbors, farming - whatever. I can't help myself and I can't resist. I find myself obsessively checking on my town, village, whatever and sometimes even completely missing something adorable Max is doing because I'm obsessed with my vegetable of the moment.

I've currently been sucked into CityVille. Zynga games are genius because they offer just the right amount of progression without having to spend any money if you don't want to and still have just the right amount of "dangling carrot" to tempt you into buying whatever points you need to go further. I tried Ravenwood before this and I just felt like I was never progressing and I got bored.I was all over Farmville also and with Cityville - I just cant stop.

I also can't resist these types of games on the iPhone - I downloaded Smurf Village "just to check it out" and couldn't stop baking pies and creating magic potions for Papa Smurf and I was definitely hooked on Godfinger and We Rule. I love them - for a little while at least. And they come with me wherever I go so I can even sneak in some evolving as I eat lunch or am stopped at a red light. It is bad. So bad.

But - my love affair generally doesn't last too long. Eventually I upgrade my town, farm, village, planet - whatever - to such a point that i get bored of the game and taking care of it starts to feel like work. And that is when I stop responding to gift requests, stop logging on obsessively to see how my crops are and don't bother replanting when everything wilts and my people are on the verge of death. Fortunately by the time I reach that point there is ALWAYS something new on the horizon.

I don't know what the appeal of these games are. I don't know if it is because they are reasonably simple to play and they offer a really accessible sense of achievement. I don't know if it is an easy way to feel successful and bask in the glow of the games positive encouragement and support. I don't know if it is the fun of interacting with your "neighbors" and feeling like you are playing together without ever needing to talk. I don't have that answer. I just know that once I start playing and the game has the right elements to keep me coming back for more - I become absolutely obsessed. Not always for long but when the game has my attention - it has it completely.

Is there therapy for this?

Epic FAIL and a resolution

Ok...so the truth is - I've been a bad blogger. I actually love doing it but the days don't seems to have enough hours in the day for me to write anything interesting. But - I am making a commitment to be a better and more interesting blogger which is no easy task. I am doing my very best at keeping this blog about me personally and my family but at the same time I struggle to avoid it being an entire blog filled with how adorable and smart my child is (even though it is, of course, true and my child is ridiculously cute and a total genius). He is such a big part of my life and makes me so happy - he is the easiest thing to write about.  But when I take a step back and try to come up with something interesting to talk about that isn't related to how adorable it is when he runs around singing about his "too-shie" - I draw a blank. I don't know if that is a product of motherhood or of being so focused on Max and then work and not having time to think about anything else - but I do worry sometimes that somewhere in the mix - I have gotten lost.

To start off not being totally self-blaming, I will admit that a good part of that is a time and energy issue. I try to get up at 6amish so I can jump on my elliptical and get a good 30 minutes in. By the time I am done with that, it is usually time to get ready for work...wake Max up...get him dressed and ready to go..make his lunch...feed him...and get him out the door. Then I head straight to work where I am until I leave to pick Max up, bring him home, feed him dinner, give him a bath and get him in bed at a reasonable hour (it takes a good hour before he is asleep so getitng him up there early is the key to my sanity). If i have a spare few minutes in there I try to use it to play with Max and have some totally-unstrucured -just-us-hanging-out-fun.

Let me be honest - Max at 2 still sleeps in bed with us and by the time he is asleep -  I am asleep. Meaning - there is not one moment in there where I can just be an entertaining thinker/blogger.

In addition to blogging, I really miss reading and figuring out a solution for that is really high on my list. I need a little bit of getting lost in a story. It is definitely one of my favorite ways to relax and one of the hardest things for me to do. Anyone want to send me a Nook Color so I can read in bed?

The lesson for me here is that I guess it is time for me to make a commitment to me. Make an effort to spend some more time at night after Max is asleep doing the things I want to do instead of giving in to the 9pm pass-out (which is incredibly easy to do) and here are my steps to making that happen -
1. I am tweeting about this blog today because it will make me feel like someone will be reading the blog then which will force me to write for that one person who is reading this.
2. I am going to commit to actually getting out of bed a 6am for that workout instead ohitting the snooze a couple of times which will hopefully leave me a few minutes to write a post work out blog when I'm feeling all good about actually getting out of bed and getting that workout in.
3. I am going to do my best to try to get in 30 minutes of reading EVERY night so I will have to keep that little reading lamp by my bed along with my book.

Ok...I've gotten it out of my system and I've said it. So now it is time to follow through and since Max is sleeping...maybe even do some reading??!

Im typing this on an iPad. Not mine but I'm experimenting to see if I like it. I do. Im not going to lie. I hate that i love it an want to buy it. I feel like i have so tasted the apple koolaid and i love it. My only issue is that there is no camera. If this hinge had. A camera I would be sold....but without a camera i still can't replace my computer so this becomes something extra to carry around. But it is very very very nice. It is just so easy to sit here type and play games and sit here on the couch with this. I kinda want to make out with it. WS that one step too far?

Rumor has it that the holiday season will bring about some ipad competitors but I am yet to see anything announced. I'm such a sucker for a good toy like this. announce something already!

Imexhausted from getting up early to t my elliptical this am. Im trying to do it at least 3 mornings a week but that 630am wakeup is torture.

I am dying for junk food...no...cheese...no....chips...ok....everything. I want p alette pleasing junk food. Ok...posting....

..but it clearly runs in the family. We all want a good shoe workout!

Yep... I'm that nerdy!