Addiction?

OK...here's the truth. I've never said this out loud but I think it is time for a deep dark confession.

*deep breath*

My name is Tali and I am addicted to games. Not the Call of Dutys or the Halos - it is far worse. I am addicted to any and every game Zynga, Ngmoco, even Playfirst put out. I am a total sucker for anything that involves building things up, adding neighbors, farming - whatever. I can't help myself and I can't resist. I find myself obsessively checking on my town, village, whatever and sometimes even completely missing something adorable Max is doing because I'm obsessed with my vegetable of the moment.

I've currently been sucked into CityVille. Zynga games are genius because they offer just the right amount of progression without having to spend any money if you don't want to and still have just the right amount of "dangling carrot" to tempt you into buying whatever points you need to go further. I tried Ravenwood before this and I just felt like I was never progressing and I got bored.I was all over Farmville also and with Cityville - I just cant stop.

I also can't resist these types of games on the iPhone - I downloaded Smurf Village "just to check it out" and couldn't stop baking pies and creating magic potions for Papa Smurf and I was definitely hooked on Godfinger and We Rule. I love them - for a little while at least. And they come with me wherever I go so I can even sneak in some evolving as I eat lunch or am stopped at a red light. It is bad. So bad.

But - my love affair generally doesn't last too long. Eventually I upgrade my town, farm, village, planet - whatever - to such a point that i get bored of the game and taking care of it starts to feel like work. And that is when I stop responding to gift requests, stop logging on obsessively to see how my crops are and don't bother replanting when everything wilts and my people are on the verge of death. Fortunately by the time I reach that point there is ALWAYS something new on the horizon.

I don't know what the appeal of these games are. I don't know if it is because they are reasonably simple to play and they offer a really accessible sense of achievement. I don't know if it is an easy way to feel successful and bask in the glow of the games positive encouragement and support. I don't know if it is the fun of interacting with your "neighbors" and feeling like you are playing together without ever needing to talk. I don't have that answer. I just know that once I start playing and the game has the right elements to keep me coming back for more - I become absolutely obsessed. Not always for long but when the game has my attention - it has it completely.

Is there therapy for this?

Epic FAIL and a resolution

Ok...so the truth is - I've been a bad blogger. I actually love doing it but the days don't seems to have enough hours in the day for me to write anything interesting. But - I am making a commitment to be a better and more interesting blogger which is no easy task. I am doing my very best at keeping this blog about me personally and my family but at the same time I struggle to avoid it being an entire blog filled with how adorable and smart my child is (even though it is, of course, true and my child is ridiculously cute and a total genius). He is such a big part of my life and makes me so happy - he is the easiest thing to write about.  But when I take a step back and try to come up with something interesting to talk about that isn't related to how adorable it is when he runs around singing about his "too-shie" - I draw a blank. I don't know if that is a product of motherhood or of being so focused on Max and then work and not having time to think about anything else - but I do worry sometimes that somewhere in the mix - I have gotten lost.

To start off not being totally self-blaming, I will admit that a good part of that is a time and energy issue. I try to get up at 6amish so I can jump on my elliptical and get a good 30 minutes in. By the time I am done with that, it is usually time to get ready for work...wake Max up...get him dressed and ready to go..make his lunch...feed him...and get him out the door. Then I head straight to work where I am until I leave to pick Max up, bring him home, feed him dinner, give him a bath and get him in bed at a reasonable hour (it takes a good hour before he is asleep so getitng him up there early is the key to my sanity). If i have a spare few minutes in there I try to use it to play with Max and have some totally-unstrucured -just-us-hanging-out-fun.

Let me be honest - Max at 2 still sleeps in bed with us and by the time he is asleep -  I am asleep. Meaning - there is not one moment in there where I can just be an entertaining thinker/blogger.

In addition to blogging, I really miss reading and figuring out a solution for that is really high on my list. I need a little bit of getting lost in a story. It is definitely one of my favorite ways to relax and one of the hardest things for me to do. Anyone want to send me a Nook Color so I can read in bed?

The lesson for me here is that I guess it is time for me to make a commitment to me. Make an effort to spend some more time at night after Max is asleep doing the things I want to do instead of giving in to the 9pm pass-out (which is incredibly easy to do) and here are my steps to making that happen -
1. I am tweeting about this blog today because it will make me feel like someone will be reading the blog then which will force me to write for that one person who is reading this.
2. I am going to commit to actually getting out of bed a 6am for that workout instead ohitting the snooze a couple of times which will hopefully leave me a few minutes to write a post work out blog when I'm feeling all good about actually getting out of bed and getting that workout in.
3. I am going to do my best to try to get in 30 minutes of reading EVERY night so I will have to keep that little reading lamp by my bed along with my book.

Ok...I've gotten it out of my system and I've said it. So now it is time to follow through and since Max is sleeping...maybe even do some reading??!

Im typing this on an iPad. Not mine but I'm experimenting to see if I like it. I do. Im not going to lie. I hate that i love it an want to buy it. I feel like i have so tasted the apple koolaid and i love it. My only issue is that there is no camera. If this hinge had. A camera I would be sold....but without a camera i still can't replace my computer so this becomes something extra to carry around. But it is very very very nice. It is just so easy to sit here type and play games and sit here on the couch with this. I kinda want to make out with it. WS that one step too far?

Rumor has it that the holiday season will bring about some ipad competitors but I am yet to see anything announced. I'm such a sucker for a good toy like this. announce something already!

Imexhausted from getting up early to t my elliptical this am. Im trying to do it at least 3 mornings a week but that 630am wakeup is torture.

I am dying for junk food...no...cheese...no....chips...ok....everything. I want p alette pleasing junk food. Ok...posting....

..but it clearly runs in the family. We all want a good shoe workout!

Yep... I'm that nerdy!

This is my first post using the google app on my iPhone which links right to my blog account. Cool! But...no uploading of photos. LAME!

I wanted to share the pics of y sketchers shape-ups. Yu-huh...I am THAT nerdy. Not sure how I feel about this phone blogging. Good if you are on the go I guess so I can immediately blog my celeb sightings but not sure I would want to write anything longer than a few lines like this. Harder for the mind to wander and go off in 100 tangents.

I'm watching the VMA's. Is it sad I actully like Justin Bieber? Taylor Swift is performing now..snooooze. I'm disinterested. One thing I did realize watching this show - in freakin' old. How did that happen?

Do I have weird words in this? I left auto correct on. We'll see what come out of that.

Ok...my hand hurts. I'm off to pretend I know all these bands. Happy belated birthday Steph!!

Long time no update....

One thing I have discovered about parenthood is that I have no time to do anything anymore. Finding time to sit an write a blog is near impossible let alone do anything else. I was a lot better at all this pre-Moo. But...I guess that is all part of the process...learning that balance or prioritizing the quality time I can spend with him over anything else.

I finally...FINALLY...read a book this week. I've barely had time to do it...but I'm trying to make an effort because I miss the thrills of dipping into another world and another life. I almost feel like i need to start a book review blog so I can not only talk about what I've read but also get some recommendations.

Here is my biggest issue - Mr.Moo still sleeps in bed with us. It's a habit we will soon have to break but we have all gotten so used to it that the thought of not having him there just makes us lonely. But he's been a star at school and is sleeping in his own cot there so we will have to transition him out here....soon. In the meantime..reading at night has been impossible. By the time he falls asleep, I'm usually asleep and have no energy to read. The few nights I haven't been asleep with him...I have only had the strength to watch TV. The very very very few nights where i have wanted to read...the little reading lights I had just disturbed the little man. So, there has just been no opportunity. I've been reading on weekends during the day but then I feel guilty for not enjoying every second to time I have with the fam.  But...I'm trying to make a bigger effort to actually read a book. So this week I downloaded the Kindle app for my iPhone. It is by no means ideal and has convinced me that when the iPad comes out with a camera I just may invest in it but in the meantime, my iPhone is an ok option. Now - to be fair - I still haven't read a book on it. I want to get through the physical books i have lining my shelves before i jump into the electronic ones, but at least now I know it is an option and the next book I buy will be online.

In the meantime, I read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - has anyone else read it? I really like it. It is a reasonably easy read, a definite page turner, and an interesting story. It is pretty dark but the characters are incredibly likeable and I was definitely invested in knowing what happened (for the record, I guessed at what was going on with Harriet). Now I'm keen to read the next one (although I'm going to read something off my shelf before running out to buy something new but it is a contender for my first Kindle purchase).

Lastly - I'm getting rid of some of my books. I keep moving and about 20 boxes of books come with me. So Nick and I have an agreement..we'll both get rid of some of our stuff - with him it is old games and with me it is books - but wherever we can - we will sell or donate them. His game collection is more sell-worthy but my goal is to donante my books to a library or find something cool to do with them. I'm doing some research....any suggestions?

Ok...Moo is asleep..finally. This won't mess him up at all. That kid refuses to nap with me and conks out so late in the day that it messes up his sleeping schedule. Today I read a story online about how there is a link between obesity and sleep. They say kids Max's age need to sleep 11-13 hours a night - not including naps - or their chances of obsesit at 80% higher. So I am essentially a bad parent because Max REFUSES to fall asleep at night until 10pm. Every night it is the same deal. And I have to wake him up at 7:30 am every day. That means he is only sleeping 9 and a half hours. So...I am officially a terrible parent who will have an obese kid. One more thing to worry about. And here I thought we were doing so well.

Anyhow..him sleeping means I should start dinner. I'm making "Mac and cheese". I make cheese sauce from scratch using whol wheat flour and skim milk. sneak some sweett potato and cauliflour in there with the noodles and Max doesn't know the difference. It is the only way we can get him to eat veggies. We now have to figure out how to get everything else into his gut (spinach and brocoli). We have to sneak it into turkey burgers or something.

Ok...I'm off to be a chef!