Alright...so today was HARD. I dropped the Moo off and stayed a bit. He was totally taken with the other kids and all the toys. He was so happy. Until I said goodbye. Waterworks from him. I looked back and he was standing in the window sobbing. Worst moment ever. By the time i got to the gate I was sobbing. The director of the school handed me kleenex and told me it was all normal. Does that make it any better? Nope. Still awful.
I called later in the am and they were outside plaing. The Moo was having trouble with the transitions between activities but other than that...he was fine. Until naptime. When little mr.man threw and epic fit that caused the call. They asked if I could come pick him up early. We talked a bit and they decided to try a little longer. I didn't go pick him up until the end of the day. He survived...barely. They couldn't calm him down and he cried a lot. That was so hard to hear.
He didn't nap and was an exhausted mess by the time I picked him up. As soon as he saw me, he started to cry. It was so nice to give him a big hug.
Moo is definitely a cuddler. He's always fallen asleep curled up with us. The don't do that at daycare..it would be tough to give each kid that kind of attention and I know that must be hard for him. I felt a little judged when we said we would let him watch his fave show if he was having trouble settling down (we are not afraid of TV in our house....sometimes it is the only few minutes we get to do anything). And I felt a little like one of the teachers was demanding a solution which scared me after day one. The other teacher was definitely more patient and reassured me that Max did great considering it was his first day and then they both said there was nothing to worry about. It just takes time.
Tomorrow I head out of town for a couple of nights leaving my two boys to fend for themsevles through the daycare experience. I'm terrified. I'm nervous about not being there in case Moo needs me....afraid to not be there if there is a problem...afraid that me not being around is going to completely scar him....I'm so completely overwhelmed with all this. It is so hard.
It is definitely the most difficult step I've taken so far. It was hard to go back to work but I knew I was leaving him with someone who loved him and loved being with him. Someone who had all the patience in the world for Moo. It is so much harder leaving him with strangers...no matter how nice they are. They aren't his mommy and daddy. It is so hard to who think of him feeling scared and not having us there.
I hope this gets easier. I can't handle having my heartbroken like this everyday.
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